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January 22, 2011

I love writing, but I am also brain dead most of the time.

I have, at times forced myself to write and done a decent job, but most of the time I don’t start on anything but a whim.

I have written a few things I am proud of, but considering how long I have talked about being a writer, I have produced very little.

Over the last few years, I believe I have spent a significant amount of time talking about writing something, and very little time actually doing it.

I want to write a book, I have a decent idea for one. I just need to force myself to do it.

I keep talking about when this happens or when that happens I will start, but the time should be now while I can still remember half the shit I have done.

I want to write articles. I like journalism, I spend much of the day reading it. I know how to write a decent article, and I have ideas on what to write about. But have I written anything, not really.

Basically, the whole problem with this is motivation. I have none. I though I was lazy when I smoked pot practically everyday forever, and when I think back on those times, I remember the dry spells where I had nothing to feed off of, was totally sober, and found myself to be more motivated. Fancy that. Now that I am totally sober, why am I not more motivated? I think it is because of the excuses I make up in my head. I think, for the same reason I am writing this series of occupational possibilities, that I continually prop my abilities up only to never follow through on any of them.

The last few years have been a series of self exploratory challenges whether I expected them or not. Some have been small, like taking care of myself while living on my own in a foreign country when I have done very little in relation to that in the past. Some have been bigger, like discussing the idea of marriage with a girlfriend, or figuring out how to get from East Asia to Western Europe by myself without having done any semblance of it before. What I havent really explored is what to do for a job. Not a money making thing that I have to show up on time for, but a fulfilling occupation that I can spend much of my life improving upon and making myself content with.

I have though about if this is even possible, but I have given much less thought to specific vocations.

The only exception is writing. It has gripped me since I started really reading, which I didnt do until I was 16. This coinciding with my starting to write, and since then I have been lying to myself everyday and calling myself a writer.

If I want to do this, and this is no different from the last few posts. I have to actually sit down and do it. I have to make the sacrifices to give myself the opportunity. I have to take a shot without thinking twice.

But the best part is, I don’t have to go to school. I could, definitely, but I don’t want to, nor do I think I need to.

The only school I would consider is journalism school, and even then I would want to try my hand at writing articles first on my own. If I decide I love it, but am not getting opportunities because I didnt study it, which i dont think will happen, then the school possibility surfaces. The other form of school is writing, and I dont want to study it because it doesn’t provide me with an opportunity to do anything but teach it. It could make me better, but the money could be much better spent on many of the other occupational schools I have considered while I try to write on the side.

This is not a resolution. I have to write this year.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 23, 2011 3:20 am

    This is by far the easiest one for you to realise because you already have the skills and resources, such as a brain and two hands with all their fingers. A computer and the internet can come in handy too, but ……

    This is a crowded market so …..

    Become a whore: write for anyone about anything, set up a website (you can do it for free or very cheaply), network, practice, go out to events and meet people who need to be written about, scour facebook for events or causes, go to places you think no one has ever been again, read ‘how to write’ books – yes, some are quite good – try different things like advertising copy (sorry Bill), newsletters, soulless reporting of granny knitting contests, set up a linkedin profile and get to know people there, join online communities of freelancers – I found this one the other day: and – and morst importantly USE THIS BLOG TO PRACTICE!!!! Another good idea is to read other writer’s blogs to see how they use their blogs.

    One of the handiest/coolest/most significant (or all of these together) is that if you’re good at it you can take it with wherever you go – I’ve an US friend in England who does copywriting for non-profits in the US:

    But of course as you said the biggest problem for realising any of this is removing your thumb from your arsehole, which is much easier said than done. Believe me I know, sure haven’t I planned to write the book on more than one occasion?

    Shoot me an email and we can talk more about it.


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